When and where did it all fall apart? Maybe it was always falling apart, but I was too busy to notice. Maybe it was never all together! The “it” I’m referring to is my 46-year-old bod. Now before I get down on myself too much, there is some photographic evidence floating around out there that at one time your pastor actually looked pretty good. In one yellowing photo, seen and openly mocked recently by my community group, I am sitting with my dad. Allow the theater of the mind to enrapture you now. Your spiritual leader with a small waist, tan muscular soccer legs, a curlet (curly mullet), a sparse greasy little Ralph Macchio moustache, and a brontosaurus quietly grazing the background. Ah, those were the days. Then the ice age, or maybe the ice cream age!
Reminds me of the husband who asked his wife what she liked best about him. “Is it my firm, trim, athletic, body?” She replied, “Dear, it’s your sense of humor”!
Or how about the husband who was trying to squeeze himself into an old pair of blue jeans? Wondering if his weight gain was noticeable to anybody else, he asked his wife, “Honey, do these jeans make me look like the side of the house?” “No dear, not at all,” she replied, “Our house isn’t blue.”
Recently I went to my doctor with severe knee pains. He told me that my left knee had the beginning stages of arthritis, and I had re aggravated an old injury in my right. When I asked for a second opinion he told me I was ugly too!
So, recently I jumped on the good health love train. Twice a day I (choke) gulp down a (deplorable) delicious bowl of Kashi cereal with raisins and dried cranberries. Likewise, I’m drinking enough water to put out the Santa Barbara fires, taking vitamins, keeping a food journal, and have subbed-out Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups for organic granola bars. Mmm. How do I feel? Deprived and bitter! Thanks for asking.
Seriously, after just three weeks I already feel better. I look the same, but I know I’m putting better fuel in my tank. Maybe I finally realized some stuff. First, I’ll never throw the winning touchdown pass in the Super Bowl, pitch a no-hitter at Fenway, win Mr. California, be a mic-spinning mascara’d rock star, or win the Boston Marathon. But, I can have something better – God’s good gift of high-octane energy for my active family and congregation. Second, I learned that it’s never too late. Reminds me of an album I dig! Third, my body came to me with a heavenly expectation of stewardship.
I’ve got an idea! Let’s outlive our enemies and really hack em’ off.
So let’s raise a glass of grapefruit juice and toast to shrinking love handles, splendid Splenda, and the perfect push-up!
Although, I must admit; at times, I do miss that darn brontosaurus.
3 comments:
This is great, Steve! You crack me up! But it's a great message - anything we can do to better serve God and others is a good thing! Thanks for sharing - and maybe you should try a different type of Kashi, some of it is tasty! :-)
i can't believe how old you are. i thought you were younger.....it's ok....i'll get over it.
Yep, I love it when I'm reminded that my body is not mine, but a temple for God... ouch! I'm not being a good steward! Guilty as charged. Well, like you said, It's never too late! Isn't it amazing how just a little turn in the right direction can make you feel so good? I can get lost with a map, a GPS, and a person all telling me where to go. But I just might be able to handle this one... North is up, right? On my way to better health!
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