Pastor's Perspective - How to Make New Friends

Are you looking for a way to expand the circumference of your social circle? If so, read on.

Recently, by pure accident, I discovered a sure-fire way to make new friends. Pass-out in a jam-packed fitness club! In literally seconds, you’ll meet the most friendly, encouraging and helpful people around.

As many of you already know, two weeks ago I had an episode while working-out with my wife Michelle. I was taken by ambulance to a local hospital where I was observed and subjected to several tests. After giving many a good scare, I’m grateful to report that my heart is normal; however, my common sense needs an immediate transplant!

It was determined that severe dehydration and stress were the two bullies that turned my seemingly good fitness idea into 24 hours of needle jabs, IV pole restroom races, low sodium everything and embarrassing gowns. They also were a deafening siren to do life and ministry smarter. In other words, when you walk in a sports club wearing ear buds and roll out wearing an oxygen mask, its time to wake up and smell the French roast.

Back in my infamous ‘airline days’, I would make the following announcement: ‘In the unlikely event we’d lose cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will be released from the compartment above your head. Tug lightly on the mask to start oxygen flow, then, put the mask on your face, the band around your head, and breathe calmly. If you’re traveling with a child, please put the mask on yourself before assisting your child.’

What Eastern Airlines knew then, was something I had somehow forgotten over the years –you’ve got to take care of yourself first, before you can effectively help others.

As a 47-year-old pastor, I have committed the crime of overriding my common sense. I’ve internalized too much stress. I’ve failed to optimize delegation. I’ve attempted to maintain an unrealistic pace. I’ve neglected my body, by not eating properly, resting and exercising. All of these things are things I preach against.

So, I am out to prove that you can indeed teach an old dog new tricks! As an act of bearing fruit of repentance to God for my negligence, and to honor His gifts of my family, congregation and calling, I’ve dedicated myself to immediate modifications. Through better time management and prioritization, I’m now remembering to put the mask on myself and challenging you to do likewise.


The bottom-line is, God, my family and my congregation deserve a better, healthier, more relaxed and balanced version of me. With God’s grace and the understanding of his people, that person is on the way. Please pray for me, that I could adopt and maintain this smarter lifestyle.

In closing, if at the club you see a perspiring guy on the elliptical machine wearing a floppy hat, dark shades and fake 70’s moustache, that’s me still feeling a bit crunchy about things. Although I creatively made many new friends that morning, I kind of hope they forget about me and the new exercise I invented – ‘The Slump & Sleep’. Do me a favor and just sneak up next to me and quietly ask – “Hey Steve, are you drinking your water?” From now on I’ll have it with me!

Pastor's Perspective - Just One Seat Apart

One week ago today I boarded a Delta 737 in Sacramento at 5:30 A.M., bound for Salt Lake City, enroute to my final destination of Philadelphia. As many of you know, my 92-year-old Oma died, and I went to eastern Pennsylvania to conduct her funeral.

Admittedly, I like to keep to myself during flights. Those long transcontinental hours are perfect for catching up on my reading, listening to music, working on my book, and experimenting with my newest gadget, my i-phone. At least, that was my plan. God had something else in mind.

Soon after taking my window seat at 28F, a middle-aged woman took hers right next to me. After the door was closed and we realized nobody else was sitting next to us, she scooted over to the aisle seat, leaving just one seat apart. With a bum left knee, the extra space was secretly celebrated by yours truly.

I could tell immediately by the way she fidgeted that she was nervous about flying. I smiled at her, hoping to be reassuring; but didn’t say anything to her until we were in the air.

After reaching our cruising altitude, the flight attendant dropped two bags of peanuts on her tray. She apparently didn’t want them and extended both bags open-palmed toward me with a friendly, “Nuts?” Not being the one to pass up a punch-line I said, “Certifiably.” She howled with a laugh that was part authentic, part nervous energy.

Although I was well into my in-flight magazine reading a fascinating expose on Ashton Kutcher’s favorite international bistros, I heard an inner voice urge me to engage her in conversation. She did give me two bags of peanuts for pete’s sake! (And on planes nowadays, that’s the entrée).

“Where ya headin?” I asked.
“Detroit. My brother-in-law’s funeral. You?”
“Pennsylvania. My grandmother’s funeral. Was his passing expected?”
“Yes. He was very very sick. How old was your grandmother?”
“Ninety-two. A great woman. Already miss her. It will be hard. How long will you be staying in Detroit?”
“Two weeks. You?”
“I’m not going to Detroit.” She smiled wryly as if acknowledging she had met her match..
“My brother-in-law is much better now. No more pain. I believe that. Do you?”
“Absolutely I believe that! I believe there is a greater life beyond the grave. What do you think?”
“I believe that too. I’m fascinated by the after-life. Been reading research on near-death experiences. Something to it all. You know? After we die?”
“I believe that. As a matter of fact I’m counting on it!”
She continued, “I think that you get to keep coming back and back again until you finally get it right.”
“Get it right, huh?” After a short pause I asked her, “So who determines whether you get it right or not?”
She pursed her lips and looked at her air vent overhead reflectively, “I suppose some higher power or being..whoever that might be. What do you believe?”
Without trying to smile too broadly, I looked into her eyes and responded, “I believe with all of my heart that all of us can have hope in this life beyond our deaths, by having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.” The man in the row in front of us did a lousy job of hiding his interest in my remarks, seizing the opportunity to lean back in his seat.
“Hmm,” she responded, with a warm smile. “I like that.”

For the rest of the flight we talked about books, her job, and her traveling adventures. Although Ashton’s bistro insight was whispering for my attention, showing love and genuine interest in this sweet woman was God’s special assignment for me during the early morning flight. As we talked, I found that though we were miles apart theologically, that she was precious to the heart of God. Had to be, sitting her deliberately next to a knuckle-head like me! We were just one seat apart – so close – so far in ways.

As we taxied into our gate in Utah, she said, “There’s something different about you that I like. I told you all about myself. I’m a bit embarrassed that I bored you with all of my beliefs and stories.” I chuckled and told her that it’s the least I could do for the peanuts! As we unbuckled our seat belts, she turned and asked, “So, what do you do?” Without blinking I told her, “I’m a German shepherd.” She cocked her head with a half-grin needing more elaboration. “I’m a pastor of a church in Suisun City.” Her half-smile turned into a full-blown one instantaneously. She nodded agreeably and said for the second time that morning, “I like that.”

She was nervous about her connecting flight, so I walked her to her gate sixty-three miles away. (Did I mention the bum knee?!)
“Here you go,” I said as I patted her arm, “Have a good flight to Detroit. I’ll be praying for you. God bless you.”
As I turned away I heard her say, “He just did.”

I think I floated onto my Philly-bound flight.

As a side note, I never got back to the Ashton article. Seed-planting and watering was far more compelling.

Pastor's Perspective - Complaining About Complaining

An elderly man went to the doctor for a visit. "Doc," he said," I have chest pains, headaches, back pains, nausea, arthritis, constipation, earaches, burning in the eyes, congested lungs..." "Sir," says the doctor, "you complain you have so many things. What don't you have?" The man answered, "Teeth."

It’s alarming to me as a local pastor of how much complaining I see and hear around me – especially among those professing an abiding faith in Almighty God.

Over a year and a half ago, my wife Michelle drug me kicking and screaming into the whole Facebook craze. Though obstinate at first, I have found it to be a great tool of daily connection with my church family, and a priceless reconnection vehicle with chums from the past. However, as I scan it daily for the latest status updates, I read so much negativity. Now as a fellow planetary inhabitant, I’m keenly aware that not everyday is a ‘happy clappy everything’s coming up roses day’! I get that. Recession, sickness, heartache, and such are part of the human condition; however, it’s the chronically-critical that make me stop and wonder. Even the Bible’s poster boy for suffering, Job, said, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”

Speaking from a Christian worldview, I think at the epicenter of Eyore-thinking are four easily-identified variables.

To much ME, and not enough GOD. In other words, as long as I strive to sit on the universe’s throne, I will always look at the world through ‘me-colored’ lenses.

Too much NOW, and not enough THEN. When we fail to have an eternal perspective on our lives, we step on the bear trap of instant gratification.

Too much IDLENESS, and not enough SERVING. I have never seen excessive idleness transform into anything positive - never. However, it’s those who are busy humbly serving others around them that find little-to-no-time to grumble.

Too much ENTITLEMNT, and not enough GRATITUDE. Lack of thankfulness in our day-to-day will always lead to a toxic ‘I deserve this’ mindset. That kind of thinking is the labor room of the critical. It’s only when we intentionally recognize and humbly embrace God’s unmerited grace that we experience authentic contentment within every scenario of life.

If anyone had a reason to complain it was the Apostle Paul. His allegiance to follow Christ had placed him smack-dab in the middle of some of the worst circumstances and persecution imaginable. While writing from a filthy dark prison cell, he wrote a letter filled with the most unlikely ingredient – joy – to the believers in ancient Philippi. ‘Do everything without complaining or arguing.’ (Phil. 2:14).

Huh?! ‘Hey Paul! Wake up! Look around you man. Look where you are! You don’t deserve this. You’re an intellectual super star with the highest education. You’re a ‘somebody’. You have credentials few possess. This is unfair. Scream! Rant! At a minimum, write God a scathing complaint letter. Attica! Attica!’ Yet, Paul never complained. Instead he wrote that God’s grace was sufficient for him; that where sin showed up, God’s grace trumped; that in his puniness, his God was crazy strong.

Paul never complained. Chicken Little did not write two-thirds of our New Testament.

Why?

Because to him life was about God, not himself.
Because he knew that his greatest contentment would come someday, not now.
Because he was too busy rolling-up his sleeves and stooping to serve others to be marked by valueless negativity.
Because he lived hourly with a glorious attitude of gratitude, that kept him faraway from the throne reserved exclusively for his heavenly Father.

Friends, we would be wise as modern-day followers of Christ in Solano County to do likewise. Let’s be marked by joyful perseverance and hope in the God who refuses to fail us. Let’s trust more and complain less.

Remember! Jesus can turn water into wine; but He can’t turn your whine into anything.

Pastor's Perspective - The Ones That Care

(The following ‘Pastor’s Perspective’ is inspired by ‘Peanuts’ creator Charles Schultz.)

Well, the big game is just a few days away. Who are you rooting for? Colts? Saints? Or like millions, you’ll tune-in to watch the gazillion-dollar commercials and the hyper-hyped halftime show?

Let me ask you a few questions – without Googling!

Name the last five Super Bowls winners.
Name the last five winners for Best Actor or Actress at the Oscars.
Name the last five Nobel Prize winners. (one should be fairly easy)
Name the last five winners of American Idol.
Name the winners of the last five NBA titles.

Do well?

Why not?

The truth is that although for a season they were the very best in their field; eventually, applauding stops. Awards once hoisted high with pride now collect dust, and once vivid memories and celebrations fade.

Let me ask you a few more questions.

Name five people that encouraged you at key moments in your life.
Name five teachers that inspired you to persevere.
Name five people that made you feel special, unique and appreciated.
Name five people that were willing to confront you when you needed it.
Name five people that taught you about Jesus and gave you real hope.

Easier, huh?

Just a reminder that the people who make a real difference in your life are not the ones with the most awards, money and fame. The people who make a real difference in your life are the ones that care.

Thank that person.

Be that person.

Pastor's Perspective - More Than Genetics

Today, before counseling someone in my office, I showed them photos of my family, while providing a brief commentary on each. As I identified each child by name, I took the time to share something endearing about them. By the time I got to the last photo, I have to confess, I got a bit misty. In that moment of just sharing a bit of myself, before hearing much about them, the Lord touched my heart and reminded me of His matchless love for Michelle and I through each precious face. Each face represented a miracle and Heaven’s sloppy kiss on our life together.

Before we married, we both knew that someday we wanted to be adoptive parents. We had no idea what a prominent place adoption would have in our marriage and home.

So many times during the last dozen years, we have heard sweetly-intended comments like, “How beautiful that you took these children into your home”, or, “They are so blessed to have you as parents.” Yet, it is Michelle and I who are blessed beyond measure! The joy and love our children give us daily eclipses anything we could ever provide them.

Real ‘family’ is more than genetics. It’s about the love of God mysteriously and miraculously interweaving souls for a greater purpose – His glory and our good.

If you’re opening your heart and mind to adoption, please know that the results far outweigh the concerns and effort. Thousands upon thousands of beautiful little ones, made in His image, are currently dreaming about you. They long for someone who will accept and love them without conditions; give them a name and place at the table; and offer them something they cannot give themselves – a family.

Once there were two women
who never knew each other.
One you do not remember
the other you call Mother.
One became your guiding star,
the other became your sun.
The first gave you life
and the second taught you to live in it.
The first gave you a need for love
and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality,
the other gave you a name,
One gave you the seed of a talent
the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions,
the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
the other dried your tears.
One gave you up--
it was all that she could do,
The other prayed for a child
and God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me through your tears,
the age old questions through the years,
Heredity or Environment--
which are you the product of?
Neither my darling-neither
just two different kinds of love.
Anonymous.

Pastor's Perspective - Don't Say Nuthin'

Legendary baseball manager Casey Stengel once held a position on the board of directors for a California bank. According to a story that originally appeared in the Wall Street Journal, Casey described his duties this way: "There ain't nuthin' to it. You go into the fancy meeting room and you just sit there and never open your yap. As long as you don't say nuthin' they don't know whether you're smart or dumb."

I’ve learned from the Bible, and from graduating Summa Cum Laude from the ‘School of Hard Knocks’, that the best thing you can say sometimes in the cringing face of crisis is absolutely nothing.

As preachers, we have the priceless privilege to be listened to weekly. Sometimes while I’m in the middle of a message it hits me, “This is kinda weird! All of these people sitting in front of me are actually listening to me. (Okay, three of them are!) They come back and do it every single weekend. Wild!” As I’ve said many times, I believe one of the biggest sins we can commit as teachers is to bore folks with the God-breathed and living Word. Absolutely shameful! There is never a Sunday that goes by that I don’t think, “How cool. What a privilege to communicate the truths of the Bible. I never planned this for my life. How neat that I live in a country that this can happen regularly. Lord, thank you for the blood shed on a cross and on countless battlefields for me to do what I do.”

However, the privilege and spotlight of preaching oftentimes is accompanied by traps. Some of these traps sound something like this – “There is an expectation placed on me to provide a sound biblical commentary of everything happening right now.” Another trap – “Because I have a degree, an office in the church building, and a handful of business cards proving it, I will appear inept if I don’t comment on something with some degree of cogency.” Both are self-imposed traps based in ignorance, and a heaping helping of human pride.

The Bible provides ample evidence that being silent in certain situations is sometimes the best avenue – the godly thing to do. For four hundred years God Himself was silent, before sending an angel to Zechariah’s workplace. Jesus was silent for forty days in the desert. During His mockery of trials, Christ’s silence was deeply unsettling before His accusers; and Isaiah tells us that He would be silent led like a lamb to slaughter (53:7). When Job was afflicted in the most severe ways, we read that his three friends, “sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was” (2:13).

Recently as I watched a dear friend pass away, just two feet from his bedside, I cried with his family, without words. In their extreme heartache, they didn’t want or need my Bible college explanations or half-baked attempts at rationalizing their nightmare. In that moment, it would have been insensitive, anything but Christ, and frankly, downright offensive. Instead, my prayers and my presence was my “I love you” and sermon.

Therefore, you can only imagine my head-wagging disappointment at the comments by Pat Robertson, trying to explain and pin Haiti’s devastation on a sworn pact with the devil made back in the 1700’s.

Friends, the world is so tired of our insensitive and packaged clichés we so effortlessly espouse as believers. A dehydrated, malnourished father digging through the rubble in the darkness of what once was his Port-au-Prince shanty home, desperately looking for his trapped child, cares absolutely nothing about convoluted history lessons. What he needs most isn’t words, but help. Whether he knows it or not, what he wants is to see and touch the presence and love of Jesus.

Later in Job, those same three friends would show great insensitivity through their callous cross-examination of him. I think Pat Robertson stepped in one of those ‘traps’ I mentioned, and showed great insensitivity to an impoverished nation in torment, offering an explanation where none was wanted or welcomed.

As you know, one of the ‘fruits of the Spirit’ (Gal. 5:23) is self-control. That God-exalting gift and attribute oftentimes comes, not through our fancy theologically-correct words and shadowed “I told you so’s”; but instead, through our prayers, our presence, and our silence.

If you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything.

To quote the prophet Casey, “As long as you don't say nuthin' they don't know whether you're smart or dumb."

Sometimes silence is the smartest thing.

Pastor's Perspective - Helping the Bookers

On behalf of the Booker family and First Christian Church of Suisun, CA, we thank you again for your steadfast prayers and support. To say these last few weeks have been a challenge is an understatement. Yet, in many ways, the challenges are just beginning. Jonathan ...was diagnosed with lupus recently and a full recovery was expected. However God had other plans and called JB home. Although we mourn his loss, we also rejoice... knowing he is with The Father and is no longer suffering

We are called by God to care for widows and orphans (James 1:27). It is our desire to serve God by serving Viola, Victor, and Jasmia in every way possible. First Christian Church has decided to set up a fund for the Booker family, both to meet immediate and future financial needs. Immediate concerns are funeral expenses and ongoing household expenditures. Please prayerfully consider coming alongside them with a financial donation. During this difficult adjustment and transition there are going to be many changes that have to be made. It is our heart's desire to alleviate as many concerns as we can, so that Viola can focus on healing for herself and the children.

Again, we are asking you to search your heart and give generously. Knowing with full confidence that God will bless your gift. Please also continue to pray for them as they journey through the difficult loss of their husband and daddy.

Donations can be made by going to the nearest Wells Fargo branch. Account # is 2068776497. Or you can send your donation through PayPal. Email: bookerfamilyfund@gmail.com. Thank you!

In the Fight,

Steve

**You can share your sentiments and favorite memories of Jonathan with his family by signing his guest book at bryanbraker.com